Thursday, November 30, 2006

Twenty dollars

These “hide the money” jokes came up during MICU rounds last week. As they were new to me and quite entertaining, I decided to run with the idea. Variations of the first five can be found all over the web, and I credit J. Tishon for a variation of the sixth. The rest are my own invention.

How do you hide twenty dollars from. . .

An orthopaedic surgeon?

Put it in a medical textbook.

A general surgeon?

Hide it in the chart.

A dermatologist?

You can’t hide money from a dermatologist.

A neurosurgeon?

Stick it to his child’s forehead.

A radiologist?

Give it to her patient.

A cardiologist?

Give it to his wife.

A plastic surgeon?

Hide it in any location with a winter climate colder than Florida.

A pathologist?

Place it anywhere above ground level.

An ob/gyn?

Just send it to her malpractice lawyer.

A malpractice lawyer?

You’re an idiot for even considering it.

An internist?

Hide it anywhere – an internist doesn’t have the foggiest about where to find money.

A resident?

Put it under her pillow.

An ER doc?

Put it in the medical history.

A medical student?

You evil, evil person – would you also steal money from a blind beggar on the street?

Feel free to add to the list!